You are a coward: too afraid of your own success.

March 15, 2013 § 4 Comments

originally published on my news24 column on 2010-09-28 08:10

You know what you want. You know what to do to get it. Yet you don’t do that which will make you who you want to be. Why is it that you know what to do in order to get to where you want to be but don’t do it? What is it about the human condition that creates this self-destructive monster, which eats away at your dreams one excuse at a time? What is it that causes us to become comfortable with it? It can only be said that you are a big wimpy coward. Too afraid of your own success. Too afraid of knowing what you’ll be like if you succeed.

It is the cowardice that causes you to blame someone else or something else. It is cowardice that makes you point fingers. So Khaya, in a sea of cowards you are the biggest one. Don’t just point one finger at yourself as the rest point at the world, let them all point at you and look within the inner coward, Mr Good Reasons. Yes, I am Mr Excuses, Mr This Is Why It Can’t Be Done, Mr This Is Why I Can’t Do it. How about just being Mr Just Do It?

What is it about cowardice that you find so much more attractive than courage? Surely failure should be the ugliest girl in the club? Why go to the ugliest girl in the room when I know that I want the prettiest girl?

Maybe success and achieving one’s goals is as frightening as failure. It is also possible that we are so accustomed to seeing failure and mediocrity that we accept second best. We don’t mind being the co-star instead of the star; winning bronze instead of gold. The acceptance of second best has become too commonplace. We see it everywhere; second rate everything, even second rate second rates.

The reason for this is that we are too good at having great reasons as to why we can’t do what we should do, what we must do in order to shine and be our better selves. Our reasons for not doing are often of sound logic and make sense, but at the end of the day, reasons are just a good name we give to excuses.

The greatest excuse of all: “What will people think of me if I decide to pursue this dream that I have?” The tragedy is that people won’t think anything of you if you don’t. Yet they will think the world of you when you succeed and make it. There is no failing. The only failing is not trying. Who cares if you don’t make it? At least you would have tried and given it the shot you have.

Courage is not in the big things we achieve. Courage lives in the small decisions. Courage is not in the running in order to lose weight, it’s in the decision to wake up 30 minutes earlier, put on your shoes and start running.

You could dismiss this as Oprah pop psychology or you could really look at yourself and ask yourself some tough questions about why you are still where you are when you know where you could be. Maybe this is Oprah pop psychology but Oprah has titanic achievements so I’m not about to dismiss it.

What if you stopped saying “if”?
What if
And if only

What if you never say “what if” except to ignite your imagination?
What if you turned your “what if” into action?
What if you act and not stop at “what if”?

What if you became great instead of imagining it?
What if someone acts on your “what ifs”?
Act on your “what ifs” before someone else does.

Know what you want. Know why you want it and do the necessary to get it.

So Khaya, are you going to be a coward, or are you going to make a lot of small courageous decisions?

§ 4 Responses to You are a coward: too afraid of your own success.

  • Jennifer Komba says:

    Wow. I needed to hear this. I am also a coward. No more. Enkosi bhut’Khaya.

  • Regina says:

    This resonated with me like you can’t believe. It’s amazing how I personally know the theory, can say it other people, but can’t take my own advice. Thanks for writing this!

  • Willy says:

    I’m utterly motivated by every single line of your this blog post, it has not only inspired as a young man trying to find my feet in this world, but as a young writer trying to pull through to majors.

    I’ve never witness such original writing, this concept is one of a kind, it would only be fair to let you know. You are one of the people I look up to. Read the interview you had with HeadHancho & trust me I can relate, I’m a lil fortunate of cause but I defiantly can relate.

    Would be a pleasure if you read some of my blogs and gave a few feed back. Take care dude my blog site

  • bridget says:

    wowwwww just got inspired was thinking of skipping class in just 30minutes time until I read this im on my way now

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