Hookers you know*

June 12, 2011 § 3 Comments

*originally appeared in the Cape Times

By Khaya Dlanga

A friend of mine expressed shock and horror when he found out that a girl he knew and thought was a descent woman turned out to be a hooker too. It’s not like she doesn’t have a job. She does. It’s pays relatively well when compared to most. This woman lives in a respectable neighborhood, nice flat, a good car and high-flying friends. She goes out like other young people and maintains all the pretences of the good life that most young people live in Johannesburg. What she does and her living standards don’t match up though but no one really thought that far. My friend tells me that most thought she probably had a secret sugar daddy bank rolling her lifestyle.

Alas, it is not as it seems, she turned out to be a lady of the night when the sun hides. Her parents, who believe that they raised a daughter and a citizen of good standing would be disappointed and perhaps even blame themselves if they were to find out that their beloved daughter was being beloved by many men in the darkness and cover of the night.  As Elayne Boosler put it, “When the sun comes up, I have morals again.” This is what it appears to be for these ladies who participate in this lifestyle.

Why is this, one may ask. It is all in pursuit of the Johannesburg dream, or the Bling dream or the BEE dream if you wish. It is about keeping up with the Motsepes. Unable to supplement the high life that they have found themselves in, they turn to other means to supplement it.

To judge these girls would be wrong. Most of the time we don’t know why they are doing it. Having said that, it is hardly justifiable. The society we live in these days forms these young woman that what you have you must flash (excuse the pun), if you don’t flash it, it means that you are poor and are not worthy of any respect.

In the words of George Soros, whom I have quoted many times, ““Unsure of what they stand for, people increasingly rely on money as the criterion of value. What is more expensive is considered better…People deserve respect and admiration because they are rich.” This is how many see life in South Africa.

The crass acceptable materialism that we have come to accept as the norm and standard by which we value one another is to blame. Over the years, we have seen an increase in this selfless abandon to “look at what I have,”  and because I have it, you must think I am important. Character has plays second fiddle to materialism. Ubuntu has gone hiding. Which bring me to my next point.

Some have taken sides on the war of words between Congress of South African Trade Unions (COSATU) secretary General, Zwelinzima Vavi and multi-millionaire Kenny Kunene. It is reported that Kunene spent more than R700 000 to celebrate his 40th birthday. Vavi was not impressed by this one bit. In all truth, and in a fair world, Kenny Kunene should be allowed to spend his money as he sees fit. Unfortunately we live in a country that isn’t. Some will chose to judge him based on this. Having said that, I think that Kunene should throw Vavi a R700 000 surprise birthday party, just to mess with his head.

My friend’s friend who has entered the world of prostitution in order to supplement her income thought that easy money was the best way to keep on impressing her fickle friends, in order to keep herself in the circle of people she doesn’t even like. It is a hard life.

This is an indictment not on her, but on us as a nation and our leaders who have created this impression that easy money and the high life is how one becomes a member of the elite. We longer have moral authorities but the bling authorities are as numerous. Who will bring us back to Ubuntu?

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§ 3 Responses to Hookers you know*

  • levy says:

    My mom recently bought a new car , when I test drove it my brother took a pic of me and pasted it on facebook. I got a lot of calls congratulating me on my new “achievement”. Two of these calls were from the girls I always wanted to associate myself with as a boyfriend. One of this missed a total a total of 60 calls in defferent times in 2010 and not a single one was returned. What I am saying is now that it is assumed that I have a car I am worth associating with. I liked the idea but had to reveal after a week the truth that its not my car but my moms. Since then I lost the girls I guess they were looking for minister of transport in me, lol. This is SA , we class categorise each other, u are treated with respect depending on what u class u are .its sad but true…

  • Mandi says:

    I think the most ironic thing in this post for me, was the fact that your friend expressed horror and shock at the idea of that girl being a hooker, and yet readily admitted to thinking she had a secret sugar daddy bank rolling her lifestyle. As much as I try not to judge people, this, in my eyes, is a case of “same shit, different toilet” (can I swear on the interweb?), and frankly, I find it rather sad that in the world we live in today, the one is considered so acceptable, people wouldn’t even blink an eye.
    If someone can point out the difference in the finer points between having a sugar daddy and being a hooker, I’d be most grateful.

  • Cassiday Jacobs says:

    I agree with Mandi. It seems that your friend would have been more satisfied had she had a sugar daddy. Personally, we should also not paint everyone with the same brush. As you mentioned, she lives in a nice neighberhood, has a decent flat, car etc. So instead of depending on others to provide for her, (a sugar daddy) who would also want sex in exchange for goods, she has found a sustainable means of earning and supplementing her income. As long as she is not a drug addict, she should not be judged. Prostitution is after all the oldest profession known to man.

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